The Art Of Building With The People Who Showed Up

You can't fix every broken relationship in town, but you can still build something that matters.

Last Tuesday, I watched a promising mural project in a small northern hub get derailed because two people hadn't spoken since a hockey game blowout in 2018. It is the classic small-town trap: a cycle of gossip and decades-old baggage that makes progress feel like walking through waist-deep slush. In our corner of Northern Ontario, we do not have the luxury of infinite replacements. When someone chooses to sit out or stir the pot, it leaves a hole. But here is the hard truth you need to swallow: you are not the town mediator, and you are not the local therapist. Your job is not to force harmony; it is to create.

Capacity building in a polarized world is not about getting everyone to agree on the same political feed or the same local history. It is about the 'willingness' part of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. You accept that some people are going to complain about the noise and that certain folks will not show up if a specific person is there. You stop trying to control the uncontrollable variables—other people’s choices—and you pivot to the humans who actually showed up with a hammer or a paintbrush. You build with the hands that are currently in the room, not the ones you wish were there.

This requires a shift in mindset from 'Who is stopping us?' to 'What can we do with these four people and a tiny grant?' Social fragmentation thrives on your attention. Every hour you spend deconstructing a nasty comment on a community forum is an hour you are not drafting the workshop curriculum. It is a total drain on your resilience. Instead of trying to debunk every piece of misinformation or heal every ego, treat the noise like background static on a long drive down Highway 17. It is there, it is annoying, but it does not mean you pull over and stop the car.

Try a small mindfulness exercise when the gossip gets loud. Imagine your project is a bus and all the difficult personalities, the rumors, and the 'it will never work' comments are rowdy passengers. They are loud and they are annoying, but they are not the driver. You are. You do not have to kick them off the bus to keep driving toward your destination. You just keep your eyes on the road. This is how we build sustainable arts sectors in the north—by being more committed to the work than we are afraid of the drama.

Capacity is not just a buzzword for grant applications. It is the literal ability to hold space for something new. When you focus on the conflict, you are shrinking your capacity. When you focus on the work, you expand it. This does not mean you ignore the toxicity—it means you do not let it dictate the pace of your progress. In small communities, we are often told we need consensus to move forward. That is a lie. You need commitment. Consensus is for the finish line; commitment is for the first mile.

The reality is that some people will choose to stay stuck. That is their right, even if it is frustrating. But for the rest of us, the goal is to build a culture of doing that is so vibrant it eventually becomes more interesting than the conflict. Kindness is a radical act of rebellion in a cynical town. Staying focused on the goal while acknowledging the messy human reality is how you survive. Pick up the brush, ignore the noise, and keep building.

Northwestern Ontario Arts, Culture and Recreation

Rooted in Melgund Township, Northwestern Ontario we're exploring arts, culture, and recreation programming that brings our communitiess together. From creative workshops and local exhibitions to youth activities and cultural events, we support rural artists, strengthen community connection, and celebrate the creative spirit of Northwestern Ontario.

Through community-based arts initiatives, recreation programming, and cultural gatherings, Melgund Recreation, Arts and Culture fosters creative expression, collaboration, and long-term sustainability in the northern arts sector. Our work connects residents, empowers youth, and builds pride in local talent across rural Northwestern Ontario.

Learn more about our programs, events, and opportunities at Melgund Recreation, Arts and Culture.